How I Think About Hosting Now and Why I’m Not Going Back
Hosting in My Grown Season
I hosted an adults-only holiday night recently.
I named it SIP. PLAY. SLEIGH.
Not because it was cute. Because it said exactly what I meant.
There would be drinks.
There would be games.
And it would be grown.
That name felt like permission. Permission to dress. Permission to enjoy myself. Permission to host without sacrifice.
This wasn’t about doing something new.
It was about doing something differently.
This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only share products I personally use and love.
What I am no longer willing to do
For years, hosting looked the same for me.
I planned everything.
I managed everything.
I served everyone.
I was the last one to sit. The last one to eat. The one refilling, fixing, adjusting.
Hosting was fun.
But it was exhausting.
And I accepted that exhaustion as the price of being a good host.
I no longer believe that.
What actually changed
This night felt different because I decided it would.
I hired a bartender.
I hired help to manage food and cleanup.
I outsourced dessert.
I simplified the menu.
I did not do everything myself.
And nothing suffered because of it.
In fact, everything improved.
I was present. Fully present.
Laughing. Sitting. Playing games. Enjoying my friends.
That presence was the upgrade.
Ease feels powerful now
Ease feels powerful to me now because I can afford it.
That is true financially.
It is also true emotionally and energetically.
I left a demanding, high-profile, public career. I did not realize how taxed I was until I had space again.
Now, I have more energy.
More emotional availability.
More clarity.
Ease is not accidental. It is often a decision.
And sometimes, it is a purchase.
That does not make it excessive.
It makes it intentional.
Elevation does not require more
I am an architect by training. Design and aesthetic matter to me. But restraint matters more.
Instead of doing more, I chose a few things that quietly shifted the experience.
Linen napkins.
Real flatware.
Real glassware.
That was enough.
Elevation is rarely about quantity.
It is about standards.
*Several of the hosting pieces I use regularly are listed on my Hosting Favorites page.
This was not about the guests
Here is the truth I would not have said years ago.
This night was not about the guests.
It was about me having joy again.
Earlier in my career, I held roles that looked impressive from the outside. People assumed I should have been thrilled.
I was successful.
I was respected.
I was also stressed and constantly on.
Joy was something I postponed.
Now, I claim it.
Hosting no longer requires martyrdom.
Ease no longer comes with guilt.
Indulgence can be earned, grounded, and thoughtful.
This season of my life rewards intentionality. Not exhaustion.
If you have been wanting to host
If the idea comes to you and you want to do it, say yes.
Then find a way to make it easy.
Outsource what drains you.
Use what you already own.
Stop believing that doing everything yourself makes it more meaningful.
You do not need permission to try something new.
You do not need to burn yourself out to justify joy.
This is how I think now.
This is what changed.
And I am not going back.
These are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you purchase through them at no extra cost to you. I only share tools and products I genuinely use and trust.